Keep in mind that there are two types of custody to which the court refers: legal custody and physical custody. In the vast majority of cases, the parents will have joint legal custody, which means they share the right and the responsibility to make decisions relating to the health, education and welfare of their children. In certain cases, joint legal custody will be denied in favor of sole legal custody to one parent (including cases where a parent may be a flight risk with the children or when a parent has a drug or alcohol problem). Joint physical custody means that each of the parents has significant periods of physical custody; it does not necessarily mean the parties share the children equally. Joint physical custody is shared in a way that assures the children frequent and continuous contact with both parents.

In the event the parents are at an impasse regarding custody of their children, they must first attempt to settle the dispute in mediation. Prior to going to court, county mediators meet both parents (usually together and almost always without the children present). The mediators try to help the parents come to a mutual agreement. After one to two hours of mediation, if the parents are unsuccessful in mediation, in most counties, the mediator presents a written recommendation to the court as to what custody schedule he or she believes is in the child's best interest.

The "best interest" standard is relatively nebulous and often misunderstood. There is no simple definition, and the best way to understand the standard is to evaluate your family's history. For example, if one parent has failed to actively participate in the child's upbringing (one parent may have traveled for work extensively in the past five years) such that the child has spent significantly more time with one parent than the other, the court may be less likely to award a shared custody plan. In this example, the court may find that it is in the child's best interest to reside with the parent who has historically provided most of the child's care.

Once the court makes a final determination, custody orders may be modified only upon showing a substantial change in circumstance. This will place the burden on the parent who does not receive physical custody because that parent will have to prove a substantial change in circumstance in order to change the existing court order. As a result, it is extremely important that the custody litigant be prepared to present law and facts in support of his or her request for custody during the initial custody phase.